The famous 'pea-shooter' incident.
It was the summer of '63 when I was sitting through another boring geography lesson (which subject I failed miserably due to being "the centre of many distractions in class".) My learned colleagues were generally messing around, passing notes, playing chess under their desks, doodling or sleeping; when out of the blue a certain Paul Harrison (affectionately known in Huntsman as 'Titch-fag') rudely interrupted my day-dreaming.
There I was without a care in the world, minding my own business and studiously examining a map of the South American rain forests whilst simultaneously considering the effects of topless ladies from the Coco Cabana on my burgeoning libido. Suddenly, without warning and for no apparent reason, my chum Paul decided to launch an unprovoked attack upon my person. Pointing a loaded pea-shooter about three inches from my head he blasted a huge wad of saliva bonded paper into my left lug-hole with the velocity of a scud missile.
Screaming blue murder, I immediately tried to remove the offending object, only to wedge the chunk of paper firmly against my eardrum. This now necessitated a trip to the old Doctor the next day who removed the paper with a gigantic pair of tweezers, causing extreme pain and distress to yours truly. The whole surgical procedure took exactly five seconds.
The following morning I was sitting in the gallery at assembly with my mate Ian Tufft and the rest of the Hunstman clan, when Yak stood up to make a very important announcement. "There has been an extremely serious incident at the school involving the dangerous practice of firing missiles from pea-shooters. A certain pupil has been seriously hurt and in fact is recovering in hospital as I speak."..... This anouncement was greeted by incredulous gasps followed by much guffawing from the balcony.
Unfortunately, I then had the embarrassing task of visiting Yak after assembly (Please note my first ever time in his office - no disciplinary problems here!) "Er....Sir.....I'm the boy with the paper in his ear.......now removed ..Sir...."
The rest of that term was spent plotting reciprocal air strikes against the said Titch-Fag and the remark from the form Master in my report book reads "A satisfactory term's work, despite his illness" !!!!!!!!!!!!